Lil' pud knows what the fuck she's talking about- weekly.

With careful reference to - THE GALWAY FILM FLEADH

I got some real good advice from Mikey F. recently. Lil’ Pud here, should have been given this advice ten years ago. He said ,“You can ‘represent’ but not yourself in court.” Hell, I always ‘represent’ and I represented myself in student court for underage drinkin’ and carousin’. This bitch got community service. I ‘represented’ all over that library (in which I did my community its service), in the classic literature section, the film area, the young adult section… All areas received representation from Lil’ Pud. Although, most of my ‘representin’ happened out the back alley, where I smoked fags. Anyways I digress.

So, this Film Fleadh… What a load of independent wank. Give me a blockbuster gore-fest any day. I don’t want to think when I’m being entertained. I want pure emotion and violence. If I wanna think, I read an Amanda Brunker novel and muse, “How did she come up with the name Champagne Kisses? She’s a fuckin’ genius!” Or I do a Goddamn crossword. Most of these indo films are like the distillation of piss into water. At least piss is acrid and horrible and when imbibed creates an emotion. You could say water quenches your thirst; therefore film quenches something deeper than piss but, we’re a Coca Cola generation baby and water bores us motha fucka! I bet you are wondering which films I saw- well none of them. Lil’ Pud is always meetin’ arrogant fucks who are experts in nothing and have an opinion on everything, count me among these dickheads.

And another thing, when people describe indo films to me it’s like someone describing one of their shit-ass boring dreams. This girl doesn’t give a shit- I ain’t your therapist. If your gonna tell me this crap I better be getting some bread for it. If I get my bread I will feign interest in your banal dream or your shit-ass critique of a film whose destination can only be plotted by someone with a masters in inane elitism.

So if it doesn’t have a drive-by, an explosion or a fist fight, fuck it and fuck the fleadh!!!!

Rating 2/10

LIL' Pud

REVIEW- Film- The edge of Darkness (2010)

This thriller starring Mel Gibson and directed by Martin Cambell, is a most unexpected triumph. Trailing Detective Thomas Craven as he delves into the conspiracy and suspicion surrounding the shooting dead of his activist daughter, Gibson is utterly believable in the role. He plays a morally inflexible though thoroughly flawed and vulnerable character. There is an element of the 'nothing left to lose', gung-ho, revenge that we so often associate with Gibson, though this time with the back story it seems to heighten his vulnerability and loneliness as opposed to highlighting the righteousness of his cause. This film stems from a five hour  BBC mini-series in the 1980's about nuclear contamination and high ranking corruption in Britain, and although remade in an American context, it does a fine job of highlighting the issues and presenting the moral dilemmas for mass digestion.
A notable performance from Ray Winstone as "Darius Jedburgh"- a government 'fixer'. The only character in the piece to retain an English accent : a tip of the cap to the original perhaps, he is the conscience of the film. He has been recently diagnosed with cancer and begins to question the role of 'kingmaker' which he has so often played for high ranking officials. His chemistry with Mel Gibson in this film is electric (akin to that spark between Robert De Niro and Jean Reno in 'Ronin') and he exudes a kind of empathy and fraternity towards 'Craven' although both are on opposite sides.
Overall- A masterful casting, a well acted film and a poignant story, as relevant now as it was in the 1980's.

Rating 9/10  

Lil' Pud knows what the fuck she's talking about- weekly.

With careful reference to "High Violet" from Brooklyn based band - The National.

You may be wondering why I should be reviewing music for Zero Review. Well my credentials are pretty varied. I learned how to play "Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder in second grade, so obviously I am musically inclined and pretty talented. I can still bang out a pretty mean “Hot Cross Buns” on those plastic wind instruments. Don’t get me started on “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on the keyboard. Fucking amazing stuff! I’ve seen The Last Waltz four or five times so I know what goes on behind the scenes too. I’ve also seen Mr. Holland’s Opus. Music does change lives. Anyway, besides all that I’ve read a few A.A. Gill articles in The Times, I guess you could say I’m pretty much a journo. I just finished the first year of my Arts degree, I know a lot about a about a lot of shite. If someone was to say I didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about- I’d have to point out that THEY didn’t know what the fuck THEY were talking about. I’m like a black, female Lester Bangs, biotch.

I enjoyed "High Violet" by The National, however something was niggling me as I listened to it, I just could not figure out what it was. Until… I realized that a certain gobshite in town would LOVE this mid-tempo stuff. You shouldn’t hate a band for purely personal reasons but I’ve always beefed with bands, it’s just how I am. The only local band I’ve never beefed with is Japs Eye Drops. I’ll beef with every other bands till the day I die, fuck’em. Anyway, all the members of the band seem to have half grown beards. I say make up your minds assholes. Go the whole hog or shave that shit off. Matt Berninger and Aaron Dessner seem to have a musical partnership based on enabling each other to be depressing bastards. This is not a criticism it’s a fact. My opinion is to take this bitch for a twirl.

8/10

Black Puddin' (AKA lil' pud)

ALBUM REVIEW:- MIDLAKE / The courage of others

With this, the third album from Texas Quintet Midlake, I was full of hope for the listening. On it's cover it bore a sticker with "Mojo - Album of the month" imprinted upon it. And then I put it on. All of the different musicians who play on this album are brimming with competence and ability, and I find it hard to fault the production as it is a tidy sound overall ; a very spacious and easily distinguishable mix. The problem I had with it, I realised after Track four 'Core of Nature' that for the first four songs it had seemed like I was listening to the same one. It was all very wistful and medieval and ultimately quite insipid and unimaginative. Track five : 'Fortune' was a welcome, if short-lived change. It showed the potential of a band that can but don't. For a start- a major chord sequence was visited: a brief holiday of hope. A momentary breath of fresh air only to return to the gloom as soon a the respite had come. Track 9, 'The Horn' bore some interest, and was in some ways reminiscent in it's music of early Richard Thompson such as 'Valleria'.
Overall this Album is a well produced, depression inducing fog. Their sweet sounding monk-like harmonies are "nice", but are not well served by the 14 or so centuries of Gregorian chants or indeed the Clannad of the early 1990's while in their 'Robin of Loxley' phase.
Tim Smith - the lead singer is cursed with a very notable voice as, in the absence of any decent material, all one notices about the songs are that his voice was yet again present in another mediocre song. This in the long -term can have a detrimental effect on the life-span of a band like this.

                                                                                                                                              Score : 4/10    

Purpose

The Zero Review is intended as an open and critical space to review all things relevant or of interest to those who wish to write about them. Music, film, Tv, books, theatre, newspaper articles, public speech, government decisions, current affairs .....etc. 
It may also be used to highlight any issues which one may feel are important, or understated.
This is primarily a critical review and endeavors to remain reasonable and objective in its outlook.
Any opinion pieces must state 'OPINION' in the title box before the actual title. e.g OPINION- Green party politics... and so on.
With that I implore you all to enjoy ranting about that which you dislike, hate, or despise (objectively of course) and to laud that which you think deserving of it.
All the best
Z